Ethical Fashion: A rant and guide for fabulous women

Since I swapped my East coast corporate job for West coast startup life, I’ve been struggling to refresh my wardrobe in a way that will keep me comfortable (no matter which coast I’m on), professional (from startup brainstorming sessions to yoga class to business trips), and still looking like myself style-wise (something I can’t explain but I know it when I see it). This is harder than it should be because I want to avoid the biggest problems with modern shopping: In a world choked with “fast fashion” – disposable, poorly-made mass-produced garments that are often 1) made by slaves and children 2) in factories that pollute the Earth, and are often 3) ill-fitting and 4) short-lived style-wise – what’s an ethical fashion-lover supposed to do?

It’s hard to find clothing that looks good, is responsibly made, and well-constructed enough to last for years. To even try to do this almost feels quaint. If you care about style, fit and quality, and you happen to be a professional woman, congratulations, you’ve got a double whammy of a problem. Women’s clothing is much more trend-driven, more expensive and usually less-well-made than men’s clothing – good luck finding a suit with functional pockets.

I’ve been floored by how hard it is to find functional women’s clothes at all, even before imposing the preference for ethically and sustainably produced garments.

I know I’m not the only one out there hunting for the right fit, so I thought I’d share what’s working for me, and in the process, honor a few kick ass women-run businesses. Maybe it’ll help you find a gift for yourself or the awesome women in your life.

ARGENT

Argent makes “functional work clothes with attitude.” I ran in to one of the founders because I happened to be at the same co-working space where they were running a pop-up shop in San Francisco. What a lucky find – I tried on half the pieces in the shop and walked out with my new favorite basic, stylish black blazer. It’s lined with mesh and made of a stretchy technical fabric like my favorite athletic clothes, stayed cool and comfortable all day during a recent trip and has all the pockets any woman ever dreamed of. I put my old blazer directly in the giveaway bin with glee.

Argent clothing is designed – and nearly all manufactured – in NYC. Finally, they are clearly a small team but they’re working hard to win new customers by providing top-notch service. A friend of mine wanted to try on some things but didn’t live in San Francisco – so they shipped her a box of items for free so she could choose. Now that’s attentive service! I will definitely keep an eye on them as they grow.


Argent fall 2016
Argent fall 2016

MM LAFLEUR

MM LaFleur proudly claims the label of “slow fashion” and they produce their clothing in NYC. Their website claims “93% of MM.LaFleur’s products are made within a 5-block radius of our office in the Garment District” – a pretty impressive statement.

As for the clothes themselves, they can only be described as a huge relief for busy professional women. The staples – little black dresses, simple solid-colored tops and skirts – are ingeniously cut to flatter most body shapes, and many of them use comfortable, long-wearing fabric with plenty of stretch. What you get are basics that feel great and are perfect for travel. Many items manage to be modest and comfortable yet sharp and sexy – the holy grail of daytime fashion as far as I’m concerned. The newer collections have strayed away from the chic, tailored look that I prefer, though, into much frumpier, less-classic territory…let’s hope they keep their best basics available.

EDIT: I just heard that these clothes are no longer all made in NYC? Say it ain’t so, MM LaFleur! If it’s true, that’s disappointing. If you know, let me know.

PIVOTTE

Pivotte claims to balance “form, function and fashion in a line designed to manage the rigors of daily adventure.” The small, highly functional collection leans on athletic layers and silhouettes, blurring the line between technical/athletic and everyday garments. If your work attire needs to be more creative/casual and you’re always running to the gym during lunchtime or at the start and end of your work day, or perhaps you want to bike everywhere and still look put-together – then, these pieces are perfect. Founded by two young women in NYC, the shop is small now but I look forward to seeing what else they create.

ASTERIA ACTIVE

Here on the West coast no one seems to bat an eye when you come to the office in a mix of yoga and “regular” clothes so I had to add Asteria Active to this list. Designed by Sena Yang and fully manufactured in NYC’s Garment District, Asteria offers distinctive, high-fashion activewear of extremely high quality. High tech, long lasting fabrics that fit, feel and wear amazingly. Everything seems to have an elevated level of sex appeal and creative detail. Lots of brands claim to bring fresh “attitude” to your closet but Asteria really does it, while adhering to ethical standards that most designer brands don’t even bother to pretend they care about.

Asteria Active 2016
Asteria Active 2016

EVERLANE

Everlane makes sophisticated basics aimed at young urbanites, and the styles all tend to have that “young Manhattan gallery employee” look. This is either a pro or a con depending on who you are (for me, a definite selling point). I started paying attention to Everlane not because of the clothes but because of their commitment to manufacturing transparency. You can check out their factories and production costs on their website to see who actually made your garments.

EILEEN FISHER

When I was a wee pipsqueak, I would make fun of my mother for liking Eileen Fisher – but now that I’m a grown-ass woman, I’m grateful for the flattering cuts and dependable high quality of the fabrics and construction. These clothes will never make you feel silly, overexposed or strapped in to something made for a teenage model’s body instead of yours…and they will never fall apart on you.

The company is also committed to sustainable, ethical production, with 20% of their garments made in the USA, attention given to “safer” dying chemicals, and relative transparency, with a lot of information about the production of the garments available on their website. It might be mostly good marketing, but it’s definitely better than nothing for those who want to support ethical fashion but also need to try things on in a store first.

MAYBE: BRASS

The Brass website proclaims, “We are proud to be a majority women-owned business that is committed to working with ethical manufacturers.” Like the other brands I’ve mentioned, they claim a commitment to ethical manufacturing, and list information about their factories on their website.

The factories are in China, yet Brass takes pains to dispel “myths” about factories in China and discuss their hands-on involvement in production. I have yet to handle their stuff in person, and can’t speak to the quality – but I’d put them on the “check this out” list. Fashion-wise, the pieces seem very basic – not as “office professional” as MM LaFleur, and not as edgy as Argent, so I’m not sure if Brass is for me, but they could be just right for someone seeking a more casual, friendly look.

NO THANKS: KIT AND ACE

Technical fabrics used for minimalist, everyday clothes and sexy design pedigree (founder Shannon Wilson was formerly lead designer at Lululemon) meant I really wanted to love Kit and Ace. The clothes are definitely minimalist, to the point of sometimes unintentionally looking like generic smocks – but everything I tried on during an exploratory mission to their Soho store had some weirdly placed logo on it, which (for me, anyway) defeats the stated goal of bringing athletic performance wear into the every day. Simply put, random logos on the clothes are a deal-breaker for me.

Their signature fabric is called “technical cashmere” – but when I looked into it hopefully, I was underwhelmed and confused. Usually, cheap “cashmere” is cheap because lesser quality, shorter fibers are used – judging from the way the K&A product pills quickly, I’d guess that’s what they’re doing, too.

Finally, when pressed on the manufacture of the clothes, the answer was vague – “Southeast Asia…Europe…globally” – not encouraging for shoppers who actually care about who is making their clothes and promoting ethical fashion.


More about sustainable and ethical fashion:

The True Cost
A documentary about the human and environmental cost of the fashion industry.

Why don’t you care who made your clothes? [NewStatesman]

Why It Actually Matters Where Your Clothes Come From [Who What Wear]

35 Fair Trade & Ethical Clothing Brands Betting Against Fast Fashion [The Good Trade]

Review: Essentialism – The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

While repetitive, marred by some silly examples and about 100 pages too long, “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” could be a valuable book for people searching for ways to be more effective and at peace with their choices. “Essentialism” as advocated by McKeown is a personal philosophy of making deliberate decisions about where to spend one’s limited and precious time. It’s a mission statement aimed at reducing psychic clutter, regrettable personal commitments and extra “stuff” that ultimately does not matter in the greater scheme of one’s life.

“Essentialism” has two parts. First, learn how to set boundaries and stick to them. Second, define and pursue your highest purpose in life. The first is easy for me, but hard for many others. The second is arguably more important and much harder for me, and the opportunity to consider it deeply was the value I received from my reading of this book.

If you are struggling with the exhaustion that comes from chronic overwork and over-commitment, you could probably benefit from McKeown’s simple prescription: Take the time to assess what you most want to achieve with your short life, remove obstacles and extraneous activities, and get more sleep. Next, get better at saying no to stuff you don’t really want to do and get in the habit of doing fewer things really well. This requires a mature ability to delay gratification, ignore the whispers of FOMO that plague us all whenever we think about turning down any opportunity, and focus on the things that give us a sense of meaning and purpose.

All of that is easier said than done, but McKeown does include some strategies for how to discover our purpose, how to graciously say no to people (even if they are your boss or loved ones) and how to take better care of ourselves so we feel more physically able to tackle what we must each day. For many, this advice will seem obvious, as it does to me, but it’s not wrong.

Useful takeaways

One of the best examples of concrete strategies I encountered here has worked well for me for a long time: When accepting a new to-do item or priority, always clarify, What does saying yes to this thing require me to de-prioritize? This simple activity of questioning and framing things to be done as distinct priorities recognizes the impossibility of doing everything, of giving equal weight to un-equal things, and can significantly boost productivity and clarity.

I didn’t get a lot of similarly useful widely-applicable advice here because it is heavily focused on boundary-setting (something that I don’t really need help doing) and rehashing of other better books (such as Duhigg’s “The Power of Habit” and Csikszentmihalyi’s “Flow”) but I did enjoy the process of reading the book as an exercise in reflection. Perhaps it will inspire others to survey the less-essential activities to which they are currently sort-of-committed, and evaluate them anew. In the process, you may get closer to finding your core purpose and the lasting happiness that attends it.

Book review: Essentialism – The disciplined pursuit of less, by Greg McKeown.
3/5 stars.

Review: When Breath Becomes Air

Paul Kalanithi put much of the “real living” of his life on hold for many years as he studied literature, medicine, surgery and the mind. Nearing the top of his ascent of an enviable professional mountaintop, he was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and given only a little while longer to live. I happened to read this book while in a state of shock and mourning, following the devastating, upsetting American election, right around the time of a beloved deceased relative’s birthday, so you could say it was both the worst and best time to read this book. It’s a moving, thoughtful personal memoir that poses important questions about the meaning of life – how to find it, appreciate it, and create meaning for ourselves.

As he nears the end, Kalanithi explains plainly the folly of pretending there will always be a future, that more planning could possibly help. He describes living in the present, without ego, without plans and ambitions, thus:

Everyone succumbs to finitude. I suspect I am not the only one who reaches this pluperfect state. Most ambitions are either achieved or abandoned; either way, they belong to the past. The future, instead of the ladder toward the goals of life, flattens out into a perpetual present. Money, status, all the vanities the preacher of Ecclesiastes described hold so little interest: a chasing after wind, indeed.

A thoughtful, poetic book. A hard, beautiful book.

Book review: When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi
5/5 stars.

Sometimes marketers seriously overstep their boundaries

Dear Similac,

My mother sent me a text. “Is there something I should know?” she asked. (Hopefully, I think.) Why? Because you guys at Similac decided to send a box of infant formula – totally unwanted and unrequested – to me, care of my parents’ home address, where I have not lived in over a dozen years. I guess you stalked me on the internet enough to determine that I might be a woman, in my mid-thirties, and married, therefore potentially a child-bearing consumer profile, and you decided to send me a little “gift.”

As a marketer, I understand the desire to get ahead of your customer’s needs and reach out to new markets, but this is an inappropriate practice that should end immediately.

I’m not pregnant. But what if I wanted to be? What if I were trying and unable to get pregnant? What if I recently lost a child? What if I recently got separated or divorced? What if I recently had a miscarriage or abortion and this package caused me emotional distress? I can think of a long list of scenarios where receiving this box of free, unasked-for, un-wanted baby formula would cause me distress, actually. Most of them should have been good reasons to walk away from this promotion idea.

I’m not your customer. But what if I was? What if you guessed right and I were newly pregnant? I think I’d want to be the one to decide how to tell people – and who to tell, and when. I can guarantee you that if I am ever pregnant, I’d like to be the one to tell my family – not have them find out because you sent an unsolicited box of crap to them.

I can think of many more ways you screwed this up than ways this promotion turns out well. Uncool, Similac. I’m hereby sending you to the marketing Hall of Shame.

No love,
Me

PS – I Googled “How did Similac get my address?” and found a long list of other people who have been spammed! Similac, you should know we are all spooked, annoyed, angry at you – or all three!

Review: Disrupted

Dan Lyons, ego bruised and career sidelined by an unexpected layoff from his job as a technology journalist for Newsweek, makes a pivot that seems like a sensible idea at the time: he joins the startup world and becomes a marketer for hot young marketing automation firm, HubSpot. This book is a memoir of that startup adventure. It stirred a ton of thoughts and conflicting reactions for me, began many conversations and taught me a bit of new stuff about startups and venture capital. It also made me cringe and grin with schadenfreude. Issues aside, though, it’s a worthwhile read with a lot to say.

Brisk, cynical and often bitingly funny – just as you might expect from the author behind FakeSteveJobs – the book starts as a bitterly comic fish out of water story about a fifty-something man trying to fit in at a company he doesn’t understand: He seems constantly gobsmacked by the wacky energy of his Millennial coworkers, the lack of organization and structure to his days, the insistence of young people on using technology like smartphones and Google calendars to schedule even a five-minute chat, and of course things like beer at work, arts and crafts breaks on “Fearless Friday,” the nap room and the foosball tables.

Every startup workplace cliche is addressed in a half-silly, half-wondering tone, and many observations come dripping with fuddy-duddy condescension. Not so funny is the authors apparent expectation that, even though he knows nothing about tech, sales or marketing, he should be treated like a visiting dignitary because of his experience and age. For example, he expresses shock and horror upon discovering that a much younger person will be his superior, even though he just met the guy and knows nothing about how capable he might be. For a book that aims to champion on oft-mistreated group – older workers – it seems ironic that its methods include baselessly insulting young people just for being young.

Hypocrisies like that add up fast. There’s also a pervasive dismissive sexist undertone to nearly every description of interactions with female employees (every female seems to be chirpy, peppy, cheerleader-like, and of course, incompetent). This distractingly takes away from the social justice angle this book is going for on behalf of modern workers. Is Lyons oblivious to this? I’d like to think he is too smart for that, but I think he might just be that clueless, as a white dude who never faced any discrimination before his stint as the “old guy” in a young office.

About halfway through, Lyons cuts through the banter to drop some old school knowledge, and this is where things get really good. Making use of his considerable background as a serious journalist, he sketches a recap of the last tech bubble, and discusses something that’s new this time around – the ways in which the VC-fueled startup climate allows and encourages founders and investors to extract billions of dollars from the market while never actually creating profitable businesses. He’s right to point out the incentives for startup founders and successful investors to make maximum returns on their money by creating massive hype machines for products that barely even exist while investing little in their employees and using cult-like internal branding to manipulate young and inexperienced people hungry for meaningful work into working twice as hard for half as much. It’s pretty scary when you think about it.

As a career marketer currently working at a technology startup, I’m intimately familiar with Hubspot, digital marketing, inbound marketing methods and how software sales sausage is made. This book definitely resonates. (Also as a current resident of San Francisco, the description of Dreamforce almost made me pee my pants with laughter.) Frankly, it resonates for me both in the ways that Lyons clearly wants it to, and in other ways I’m sure he did not intend. I’m well-acquainted, for example, with the casual condescending dismissal that young female executives receive from older white dudes like him. I’m also familiar with the way us young female marketing and PR people get treated: like we are stupid and like our jobs are fluff. If we are enthusiastic and passionate, we’re “peppy cheerleaders” and guess what happens if we are less enthusiastic? Gosh, then we’re on the receiving end of men telling us to smile. Could it be that Lyons thinks ageism is the biggest workplace issue in tech simply because it’s the only kind of discrimination he has ever personally faced. Sounds like the writers rooms in Hollywood (notoriously hostile places for female writers) are super comfortable for him.

Interestingly, Lyons seems insistent on shooting down anyone’s enthusiasm for their work, which seemed strange to me. Could be because I’m a brainwashed Millennial, but I just don’t believe that every young marketer, salesperson or startup employee is a deluded bozo who doesn’t know what they’re doing, nor are all mentions of meaning or passion at work simply bullshit. Look at the data: Survey after survey identifies meaning, connection and mission as critical components to a satisfying job and career. Modern workers really do want to love their jobs, and want to engage passionately in goals larger than just making TPS reports.

If the current startup “revolution” (with all its silly foosball tables and happy hour beer pong and branded company t-shirts etc.) opens up authentic conversation about how to engage employees and create happier workplaces, I think that’s a wonderful thing. The onus is on every employee to educate themselves, learn their legal rights, and direct their own career. I don’t see how that’s bad, or even very new and different. If we are to shed the bad parts of the old, paternalistic model of work (and let’s face it, we already have, as Reed Hoffman discusses in detail in his own book about work, The Alliance), we need to take responsibility for our own careers. Lyons both celebrates and bemoans this. I can see how it might suck to suddenly need to change careers and make a surprise pivot at age 51 with a family to feed. But the honest truth is that many people have had to do that for a long time; the workplace wasn’t some kind of Disneyland of job security 50 years ago, either. One premise of Disrupted is that tech companies today treat their employees in ways that would be “unthinkably” cruel and callous as recently as the 1990s, the last bubble. I’m just not convinced that’s the case. Microsoft may have given generous medical benefits to workers and created thousands of millionaires. But weren’t they the exception, not the rule? Is Lyons yearning for a past that really only applied to a few?

The difference today, at least in the tech industry, is an increased level of transparency around the mechanics of work, and an elevated level of respect for an individual employees’ ability to act as a free agent. Given the research I’ve seen in the last few years about the current hiring crisis – skilled workers are in incredibly high demand and large organizations are most worried about how to attract and retain top talent, not how best to fire them – it’s clear that free agency does benefit the most skilled workers. Unfortunately for many of us, it also benefits those who have lucked in to privileges like being young, male and white.

So how do we fix this? What do we do with the rest of them, those workers who aren’t the youngest, the luckiest, the top of their class at Harvard? Lyons’ point is that there are a lot of them, those regular people, and that they are the poor saps blinding drinking the Koolaid, pulling ridiculous hours for unnecessary “hackathons”…and they are the ones left holding the bag of empty stock options after investors cash out, leaving them with nothing.

Book review: Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble, by Dan Lyons
4/5 stars and a side of frustration and muttering to myself.

Review: The Alliance

This NY Times bestselling book about managing employees in the modern workplace offers one big idea. It’s not hard to understand and the book is filled with examples that are helpful and illuminating in varying degrees. Like most popular business and management books I’ve read, the “big idea” is driven home again and again, the content is a bit repetitive, the language is very easy to skim, and the book itself could have been one really great Harvard Business Review or Atlantic article, but was stretched to create a book instead. Fine, it is what it is.

I’m giving this book 4 stars despite all that because the big idea here is a good one and one I hadn’t really put into words before. Here it is in summary: Modern employers do not offer workers loyalty anymore (did they ever, really?), workers don’t believe in loyalty for its own sake to an employer anymore (why should they?), jobs don’t last for decades anymore, careers change really fast now. It is therefore in everyone’s best interest to think of employment like “tours of duty.” Each project, position and working relationship can be considered in terms of a “tour of duty” rather than a lifelong commitment. We all know that jobs will end sometimes, yet most managers and employees have a weird reticence when it comes to discussing this fact frankly. (I cannot help but mentally apply this to dating.) Employers hate to openly acknowledge that their workers don’t belong to them – all employees are free agents. In turn, employees shy away from discussing this openly because it’s one of those things we don’t talk about, for fear of insulting someone or facing retaliation.

It would be wonderful if more managers thought this way and treated their employees like smart, independent free agents. The only problem is that not all employees are actually smart, pro-active, entrepreneurial and driven. If you make the mistake of hiring lazy people, or people who simply don’t think this way and instead WANT security, you will scare the pants off of them with this management style. Maybe this is good, if you really want to only hire and retain very creative and driven people. If you need some dependable people for long term less exciting roles, however, much of the advice in this book may not apply. Let’s be honest: Many jobs out there are necessary but don’t particularly light anyone’s entrepreneurial fire.

My caveat with this book: Consider the source – the founder of LinkedIn. If you work at a startup or some kind of creative fast-paced company where you manage mostly highly educated knowledge workers or sales people, great! If you ARE a driven knowledge-worker type, then I also recommend the book because it might help you better understand what you want out of your next work environment, and strategize around how to get it.

Book review: The Alliance, by Reid Hoffman
4/5 stars

Review: The Goldfinch

A young boy named Theo with a troubled family life survives a horrifying terrorist act in New York City that kills his beloved mother and changes the course of his entire life. So much happens in the lives of Theo, his family and friends over the course of nearly 800 pages that I won’t try to summarize the plot – besides, the twists and turns are best discovered in their own time, and whether or not you predict them, they are delightful.

At its heart, this is a novel about memory and loss, and about art, and the value of things. What could possibly be more important that the concept of value? Love, family, antique objects, singular works of art, the minutes of our lives – what is any of it worth, and how can we know?

Not all of my reactions are favorable, though. I quickly realized that the characters had a “stock” quality to them, no matter how many hundreds of descriptive words were employed to flesh them out. There is the pale, precocious, ill-fated nerd Andy and his rich, New York high society family; there is the beautiful, delicate-looking yet spunky love interest, Pippa; there is the swaggering ex-actor alcoholic father. The obsessive amount of detail in this book is at once satisfying and frustrating depending on how it’s enlisted, because no matter how clearly I feel I see these characters, I can’t escape the sense that I’ve met them before. Tartt also resorts to actual cliches a few times and they made me flinch on more than one occasion early on.

The London Review of Books sniffed that this is a “children’s book” for adults and I can’t say they are wrong about the actual writing level. It ain’t Henry James. But I read and enjoy a lot of books that are also not Henry James. Thus: While totally understanding why someone might not like this modern fairy tale, I thoroughly, completely and shamelessly enjoyed it.

Book review: The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt
4/5 stars

Review: Spark

An incredibly important, exhaustively researched book that will fascinate anyone who is even remotely interested in how our brains work. Now quite famous and highly regarded, psychiatrist John Ratey presents study after study in service to his thesis: that vigorous physical exercise is not only good for our bodies, it also has the power to improve mood, treat mental illnesses like anxiety and depression, prevent memory loss, improve conditions like ADD, and generally “remodel” our brains for all around better performance. The first book of its kind (that I know of, anyhow), it leaves no assertion hanging, but presents reams of compelling evidence to support every claim. The insights in this book have changed many lives, including mine. It should be taught in every middle school physical education or biology class.

Book review: Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, by John J. Ratey, Eric Hagerman
5/5 stars

Review: Brand Seduction

An entertaining, well researched and highly readable spin through how our brains work, how we process messages and how we project our thoughts and aspirations into brands. To create a brand people will identify with and truly love, companies must strive for utter consistency of message and, these days, marketers must also understand some neuroscience. Consider this a vital crash course. As a marketing and branding pro I’ve read stacks of books on the subject; this one is worth keeping around.

Book review: Brand Seduction: How Neuroscience Can Help Marketers Build Memorable Brands, by Daryl Weber
4/5 stars

Review: Lean Out

Lean Out is a diverse collection of 19 essays of uneven quality but consistent passion. Each piece of writing shares a personal story, experience or perspective of a woman or transperson either in the trenches of Silicon Valley’s entrepreneurial dream machine, or looking back on it after leaving. Whatever benefits Sheryl Sandberg extolls in “Lean In” (the clear reference point to which this collection is a response) these essays point out that outsiders are expected to conform in order to succeed…and “outsiders” are anyone who is not a white cis male. This isn’t so much a whiny collection of hand-wringing identity politics as a thoughtful report of real experiences – the reader is invited to draw a lot of their own conclusions.

My star rating isn’t for the quality of writing (which is sort of all over the place) but for the topic and diversity of perspectives and ideas. I read it because I currently live, work and hire for a startup in SF, and I want to be thoughtful about it. Worthwhile.

Favorite essays: “Fictive Ethnicity and Nerds” by K. Cross; “The Pipeline Isn’t the Problem” by the editor.

Book review: Lean Out: The Struggle for Gender Equality in Tech and Start-Up Culture, edited by Elissa Shevinsky
4/5 stars